Today I stood outside with my smoker friend while she had a cigarette. Yes, perhaps subconsciously I wanted the second-hand smoke, but really I wanted to see how hard it would be to resist the urge. Initially I wanted to snatch the cigarette out of her mouth and inhale the entire cigarette in one long drag. Then I smelled it, and the smell was enough to eliminate my craving.
I'm still getting over the worst head cold ever, and being sick has relieved some of my quitting anxiety. Now I'm focused on getting better, rather than not smoking. I hope the anxiety isn't too bad once I feel better.
I did the easy part, which was putting down the cigarettes. The hard part is not wanting one now that I've stopped. For those of you familiar with The West Wing, I liken the situation to when CJ Cregg bet Josh Lyman that he couldn't lay off junk food for a week because she wanted to see him 'live past the age of 12.' Josh was confronted by brownies, donuts, and pizza in the course of that first day. Well Josh - I feel your pain. Unfortunately, I can't send my cigarettes to the president of Turkmenistan.
i recommend NOT tempting yourself in the first place. at least until you're a little further along. or are you having a personal S&M trip?
ReplyDeletethe REAL question is, if you succumb, will you cook dinner for me wearing an apron and a little chef's hat?
When's Dinner?
ReplyDelete